


If you'll have me

by ChocoNut



Series: Many ways to say I love you [23]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and first kiss, Inspired by 8x2, Season 8
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2020-01-24 15:11:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18574036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChocoNut/pseuds/ChocoNut
Summary: The Night King has retreated, his army defeated, but only for the time being. The night they survive, Brienne visits Jaime to talk to him.





	If you'll have me

**Author's Note:**

> Here's my humble contribution to the lovely episode we were blessed with. Hope you enjoy it!

Brienne stood at the entrance of her chambers watching Jaime struggle with his armour. They had survived the onslaught and the Night King had escaped when his forces had been wiped out, but only for the time being and not before leaving a horde of casualties - dead and injured. Thankfully Jaime was lucky enough to live, suffering a few burns, nothing at all in comparison to the thousands who had fallen.

It wasn't dawn yet, and since Jaime hadn't been allotted his sleeping quarters yet, she let him stay in her chambers for the time being, until he healed. She took a tentative step inside. “Need help?” she offered, ignoring the familiar unrest that was back in her mind, nagging her once again now that she no more had the distraction of the battle to protect her from her feelings for Jaime.

“Ser Brienne.” He sprang to his feet at once, giving her a slight bow, a courtesy he had never bothered to show her all these years. She had been quick to note the change in him the moment he’d set foot in Winterfell. He’d been overly polite and gentlemanly around her more often than necessary, leaving her impressed but at the same time bewildered. “I’d very much appreciate that,” he said, his voice as soft as it had been when he’d knighted her.

No one had ever been this nice to her and she found it difficult to take in. Unsure about how to react to his new-found kindness, she approached him without a word and began dismantling his armour, her mind crowded and clouded with thoughts as her fingers fiddled with his buckles and clasps. It wasn’t just Pod as Jaime had observed on their first meeting, but _they_ had come a long way as well. The Jaime she’d grown to be comfortable around usually insulted her, though not as much during their time in King’s Landing as prior to that, but she still couldn’t associate him with such behaviour towards her. _It’s almost as if he’s trying to court me_ , she thought, blushing. But what would she know? She’d never been courted before, only shunned by men all her life. But Jaime... well, Jaime was different, unlike any other man she’d met. Even Renly.

She had known for certain that it wasn’t mockery when he’d gone to the extent of fulfilling the grandest dream she’d harboured since she was a girl, but what then was it? Why the sudden change in his demeanour? What did he truly think about her? Was it merely respect and admiration for her or was it something far deeper, far more intense than that? She knew she meant a lot to him, but did he actually perceive her in _that_ way?

Troubled by these thoughts, she decided to find out. “What are you doing, Ser Jaime?” she repeated the first question she’d asked him, hoping for a straight answer this time. When he stared at her blankly, she explained, her voice bearing an edge of agitation. “Why are you being so nice to me?”

“You had a problem when I insulted you, and now you have a problem when I’m trying to show you some chivalry,” he snapped. “Is there something wrong with you? Or is this just me growing old?”

Brienne shook her head in exasperation. “You fail to get my point,” she cried out, flustered that she couldn’t express herself effectively. She forced herself to calm down. “Never mind, leave it be. It’s not important.” Abandoning the intention to ask him, she focussed her attention on his armour, quietly working on it, a warm flush creeping up her neck as she could feel his eyes boring into her head. When she was done with taking it off, her fingers slid to his shirt, to his laces--

Alarmed, she looked up at him when he suddenly grabbed her hand. “I think I can manage that, my lady,” he breathed, gazing at her intently.

“I--” she stammered, embarrassed with her absent-minded lapse. “I’m sorry, I should perhaps leave you to it.”

Pulling her hand free, she rushed to the door and was about to step out when he called out to her. “Brienne, wait.”

Not _Lady Brienne_ or _my lady_ as he had been addressing her since his arrival, just Brienne. Approaching her, he put himself between her and the door, kicking it shut and blocking her exit. “I think you and I have some unfinished conversations,” he said, leaning on the door with his arms crossed against his chest. “Why don’t you start? What did you come to talk to me about?”

“That day at the courtyard--” she began hesitantly, her heart at her throat “--you were about to say something--”

“You want to know why I came to Winterfell?” he asked, almost as if he’d read her mind. “Wasn’t it obvious from the way I’d behaved that day?” An embarrassed smile came upon his lips. “Gods, I've been such a bumbling idiot these last few days!”

“So have I,” she concurred, returning his smile.

“But not anymore, my lady.” The smile was gone, the impassioned look he gave her making her go weak in her knees. “With our future dangling at the edge of a cliff, I don’t think it’s wise for us to hold back any longer.”

_Our future._

“Hold back what?” Deep down she knew, but she had to ask.

“I swore my service to you because I admire you--” he left his position by the door and began pacing the room “--your swordsmanship, your leadership skills. I knighted you because--” he came to a halt, turning to face her again.

“Because?” she repeated, holding her breath.

“Because I--” he stuttered, a characteristic unlikely of him “--because you deserve it, you’ve earned it. Renly should’ve done this for you long back.”

Brienne should’ve been honoured by his compliment, and she was, but for the pinch of disappointment she felt in her chest. The way he looked at her, speaking to her in a totally un-Jaime way, she was almost convinced that he felt more than just admiration or respect for her. “I’d like to thank you for that,” she expressed her gratitude, nevertheless. “No one’s ever done anything like this for me before--”

“I should be the one to thank you, my lady,” he cut in, “for saving my ass, for believing in my honour in front of everyone.” His tone became softer. “For trusting me to do the right thing.”

“I’ve always believed in your honour, Ser Jaime, and I trust you more than myself,” she told him in all earnestness. “I'd trust you with my life. As for saving your ass--” she couldn’t help smiling at the memories of Harrenhal “--isn’t that tradition between the two of us? Hasn’t it always been something we’ve both been doing for each other since we--”

“--stopped being enemies,” he finished, nodding in agreement. He came closer until they were just a foot apart. “There was another reason as well,” he said quietly. “Knighting you was--” he pressed his lips, finding it difficult to speak. “It--it was an act of love,” he confessed, reaching for her hand. “As was my decision to ride North.”

So it was true. She wasn’t mistaken. “Ser Jaime--”

“It’s time to stop running away, Brienne.” He smiled, bringing her hand to his lips. “Ever since I’ve arrived, I’ve spent every single minute trying to tell you how much I love you, but I never could find the right words to express my feelings. Not just my sword, my lady, I wish to give  _myself_ to you--” he gazed at her, his eyes full of love, hope and dreams of a beautiful future “--if you’ll have me.”

Tongue-tied at his declaration, she nodded, beaming at him, her eyes moist with tears of joy. “Ofcourse I’ll have you, I love you,” she blurted out when she had recovered enough to speak. Her heart overflowed with so much happiness that she didn’t know what else to say, how to react. Her face fell when a thought suddenly struck her. She’d never been a daughter to her father, nor did she know how to be a wife or a mother. “I don’t know if I can--”

“Nor do I, Brienne.” He didn’t wait for her to finish, sensing her apprehension and putting it to rest at once. He closed the distance between them, his thumb caressing her knuckles. “But we’ll learn,” he reassured her. “Together. Afterwards, after the war--” he paused “--if there’s an _afterwards,_ I want to spend it with you, Brienne.”

She nodded, once again speechless and overwhelmed.

“Stay with me,” he said, his grip on her hand tightening. “Don’t leave.” His eyes were loaded with emotions. “Not tonight.”

“I can’t,” she declined his request with a heavy heart, wishing she could’ve stayed. “Not right now at least. Duty calls. I’ve to check on Pod and the other injured soldiers.”

“Come back after that, then,” he insisted, his eyes burning into hers as he reluctantly let go of her hand.

“I will.” Heat flooded her cheeks in anticipation of spending the last remaining hours of the night with him. “I promise.”

As she was about to leave, Jaime grabbed her arm, pulling her towards him. Leaning into her, he planted a kiss on her mouth. It was nothing more than a tender touch, a mere brush of his lips on hers, as chaste as it could be, but intense enough to set her pulse racing. Before he could go any further, she drew away, blushing furiously.

“That's good enough to keep me alive, my lady,” he said, running his thumb along his lips, his deep and seductive voice sending a shiver down her spine. “But only until you’re back, because after that you and I have a lot to--”

Too shy to face him after what had just happened, she couldn't bear to hear the rest. “I’ll see you later,” she whispered, hurrying out of the room. But before she shut the door fully, she tossed a fleeting glance at him, her eyes meeting his through the gap.

“Don’t you forget your promise,” he shouted.

 _I won’t,_ she vowed to herself, _I’ll be back._ Grinning to herself like an idiot, she made her way to the hall, hoping there indeed was an _afterwards._ Ser Jaime Lannister and Ser Brienne of Tarth, making a life of their own. _Together_.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading and do let me know if you liked it!


End file.
